Image credit: Seamus Conley.
In a world constantly tethered to a device, connected to social media and additionally isolated from others in this Covidian world, one thing that strikes me the most is the increasing giving of unsolicited advice.
Whilst this ‘advice’ may be given with the best intentions of help to support another, it actually does the opposite. It takes the power away from an individual to make their own choices. To make this clear, I’m not speaking about conversations when someone explicitly asks for help or advice and I do advocate to support our friends, family or even strangers. But this is about responding to the sharing in an appropriate way.
In the world of online engagement, I feel we have forgotten the art of relationship, of respect and real human connection. There is a two-way energy exchange when people are together in the flesh or seeing each other face to face in real time through the technology we have available. Online discussions should never occur with judgmental attitudes while we hide behind the vailed online anonymity. It’s destructive to others and to ourselves.
One of the core agreements in Women’s Wellbeing Association share circles is ‘no advice giving’. This was one of the most deeply resonant learning I had when I first sat in circle some 13 years or so ago. I admit I’m also guilty of giving unsolicited advice and from my experience, I feel first hand what that does to the relationship. Simply put, it erodes trust. Now this is not the loss of trust one may experience when being betrayed by the sharing of a secret or the act of expressly going against another’s wish, but a much more insidious erosion of the internal self-worth and inner strength all of us need, especially in this increasingly digital age of connection.
Instead of giving advice or telling others what they need to do, lets share kindness, choose words that support, uplift and reach out directly with the question, How can I help?
If you would like to join us for our monthly monthly Circles, register here:
Womens Wellbeing members are free and non members only $15.
Each circle is on the fourth Tuesday each month from 7pm.
Contact president @ womenswellbeing . org for further details or questions.
Love and Light